I feel the need to explain something with a little more clarity, so let me give it my best shot.
As I said before, grief is an up and down thing. It comes and it goes.
Without a doubt, there are days that drag on, that seem impossible to get through.
That I miss my brother desperately, so much that it physically hurts.
But I do have hope.
I have hope that I will choose not to be a bitter and sad person because of this, when the smoke clears, but to be an open, loving, more compassionate person.
That I will be restored.
I believe that I will make the right choice.
That I will choose not to let this destroy my life, but to live my life in honor of my brother.
I have hope that I will also choose to be thankful for the blessings I do still have in my life.
And I believe that I will emerge a stronger person with a deeper faith.
I also trust that on those bad days, which I will inevitably have, I can rely on God to give me strength, and the huge network of support that I have from my amazing family and friends.

Signing off for the last time today.