Dad has connected with several Dads that have also lost sons to the war in Iraq. It's that "club" that none of us want to be in. He has connected with one in particular, in Atlanta, who lost his son in Iraq several years ago. This man told him that one of his friends had asked him early on, if he had the choice to erase all memory of his son, thus the pain that went along with it, if he would choose to do that.

My initial thought was, of course not. How could anyone even ask this question? The point, of course, is that by erasing their memory and their existence, the accompanying pain from their loss would also be erased.

This reminded me of a movie many of you have probably seen, "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". A couple undergo a procedure to erase each other from their memories when the relationship goes bad. It's very interesting.

I can't remember who it was, but someone said something in the beginning about how the closest thing they could compare this to was "grieving" over a divorce, over the loss of that relationship. I remember thinking this was really odd initially, and of course she included that it was totally different and couldn't compare, just the closest thing she could relate to. I remember thinking how bizarre it was for her to compare a death to a divorce, but when I thought about it, there are some parallels.

In both cases, someone is not in your life anymore. Someone that you love, someone that you've gotten used to having in your life. It's never easy. It's hard to lose someone that you care about, through death or just the loss of that relationship.

I've been pretty devastated over several breakups in my life, many times over situations that I've ended things too. At the time, it feels you will never "get over it". You have that void that it seems will never be filled. But I've found healing through other friendships and relationships. I think God puts people in our lives, in our path, that we need at just the right times.

Of course, breakups are nothing in comparison to death. But there's a saying, which I find a bit cheesy, but true. It relates to both:

It's better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.

I wouldn't choose to erase memories of anyone, for anything. I would never take back memories of friendships and relationships that didn't work out, because I have a lot of wonderful memories with great people, that still make me smile when I think about them.

And I would never, ever choose to erase my memories of Evan.

I will always have them, and that's something no bomb could ever destroy.